With my first pregnancy my family doctor gave me one piece of advice that I didn't think much of at the time but it turned out to be really insightful. She simply said "when it comes to research - pick one website or one or two books that speak to you....otherwise all the conflicting jargon will drive you crazy."
And yet the irony is .... here I am contributing to more "resources" that might be adding to your confusion. I am however sharing these books for very specific reasons that I hope alleviate that stress. These reads don't prescribe to any particular theories or parenting styles - they are fact based & allow you as the parent to read the data and form your own decisions. The last book I'll admit is a personal share & could be considered a parenting "philosophy" but I'll note that many of its lessons and teaching align with science and data driven parenting advice.
Book # 1 - Expecting Better by Emily Oster
This book was such a godsend for me. I knew it from the moment I saw the title "drinking safely during pregnancy" on the cover (haha.) Joking aside... the gist of this book is that it debunks all the traditional myths around pregnancy and looks at the hard facts and data. It doesn't tell you what to do with that data but instead gives you all the tools you need to feel confident about your choices in pregnancy. I love that it empowers women to make decisions that feel right for them. I honestly think every single pregnant mama can benefit from reading this book. It was so, so helpful. Especially in an age where quite frankly the spread of "misinformation" & trusting experts is a real problem. The facts will set you free!
Book #2 - Crib Sheet by Emily Oster
Yup, you read that correctly. Another book by Emily O. But please, here me out! This author is actually an economist and not a parenting expert (although she does have two kids of her own which served as inspiration for the books) and she just nails it again with this guide to early parenting. There are so many unknowns in parenting - things you didn't even think you had to research or consider. Suddenly you are forced to make a choice & it feels like it will be life altering to your child. The pressure, the burden, the madness! Fear not. This book will help you feel confident, calm, and prepared. Tell me you don't crave that dear mama.
Book # 3 : Bringing up Bebe - Pamela Druckerman
Full-disclosure I am kind of obsessed with trying to be as French as possible. It's weird, I know. The point here is that this book was written by an American mom who kind of felt the same way. After living in Paris for 10 years she simply noticed there was something magically elusive about french kids, french parenting & that the french simply have that "je ne sais quoi" in this realm. The best part of this book for me was the helpful tips it breaks out at the end for how to tackle different difficulties in parenting. I still refer to it with a 22 month old in toe. It covers topics like:
how to get your kid to sleep through the night
avoiding picky eating habits
helping toddlers behave well in public & learn manners
cultivating independence and patience in your little ones
establishing authority and boundaries within a network of freedom
Druckerman also addresses mommy self care which I loved reading about. This is something you don't typically expect a parenting book to shed light on and I'm here for it:
making your partner & marriage a priority in new parenthood
not feeling guilty if you can't breastfeed, choose to go back to work "early" or put any focus on your self-care and value outside of motherhood.
I have also heard from several moms that their husbands particularly valued this read. If you have a partner who wants to do some research this might be the book for them. I find the tips speak to both genders. Happy reading but please remember that whatever methods you choose to move forward with in your parenting.... they are all good enough! It's first & foremost about what works for you & your little one.
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