all the "do not's " i did in pregnancy.

I feel as though I am setting myself upon on stake for even sharing or writing about this stuff but I would have really appreciated finding this exact article when I was pregnant. More often I find when people (mom's) share their shames, guilts or difficulties there is far more connection, camaraderie and support that follows so I am choosing to lean into that. There are many things that are crazy about pregnancy but all the "rules" and "do not's" seemed to particularly confuse me. Especially because some of them seemed so random to me at first. Why... no sushi? Is coffee really bad? As a starter if you find these questions plaguing you please go read "Expecting Better" by Emily O. I wrote a blog post here about why it was transformative for my understanding of these questions. But I am digressing ... let's get into all those things i did!

1. I drank alcohol. Not to get "drunk" but because I am a really social drinker and I genuinely love a cold beer or a glass of wine. I set boundaries that made me comfortable.

a) always past the first trimester ~ 20 weeks.

b) only wine or beer ( I avoided hard liquor)

c) always sipped over hours, usually with a water

There is no amount that is recommended as a safe amount to "drink" during pregnancy so the recommendation is simply none at all. If you admit to having alcohol while pregnant people look at you like you've got a problem and you can't "give it up" for only a few months. Furthermore, no one tells you they do it because people really then shame you. For me I knew that it would relax me and bring me some normalcy I craved in what was often a difficult 9 months - I just did what worked for me! I don't regret it. I think both my kids are fine and in all honestly worry far more about what I teach them out of utero and how that will affect them. I am also not telling you "you have to drink" I am simply sharing this in case you are in the same boat because there is literally no one online admitting this. HA!

1. I ate sushi, pasteurized cheese and various meats. I ate exactly what I craved. I am very much this way not pregnant. It just works for me.

2. I drank more than one coffee some days for sure (that third tri thooooo). Also usually after the first tri because I was out of vomit land.

Whatever choices you make during pregnancy (besides the really obvious no no's like smoking, drugs or getting totally blistered) please remember that it is really about what works for you. I believe that you are making good enough choices the second you find out you are carrying that baby.